Britton, Okla., Halad be thy name

Topeka Capital Journal.

Because I didn’t know any better, I thought. Britton, Okla., where I grew up, was a great place to be in the summer. Sure, it was hot, and it could be as miserable as any little town on the prairie praying for more rain and less dust. But I remember what was good, along with what was bad and ugly.

There wasn’t a swimming pool in the town or a swimming hole near it, but not too far away, with Spring Lake, with the Sandy Shore, and occasionally our whole clan, including aunts, uncles and cousins, would go there, pack a meal, plus soda pop and home brew, and we’d stay all day. We didn’t know it could get any better than that.

My Aunt Buel’s employer and companion, Mr. Barnes, owned bits and pieces of land all over the area, and one parcel high on a hill near Oklahoma City included a picnic Grove and a spring fed stream. We called it “the top of the world,” and we spent a lot of summer Sundays there eating fried chicken.

My dad owned a drugstore on Britton’s Main Street, and as soon as I was big enough to carry a tray, I worked there. Evenings I was a car hop. I made 10 cents an hour and learned a lot, dealing with adults who felt free to get nasty with a kid if they didn’t like the looks of their nickel ice cream cone.

When I was older, I worked inside, at the soda fountain, where I’d look forward to seeing the well- endowed Gray sisters, brazenly wearing short shorts and halter tops. They’d come in almost every night for a double dip cone, which I would build carefully, and slowly.

Summer brought “medicine shows” to Britton, and the best of them was Little Doc Roberts selling his Tay-Jo Tonic. He had a banjo player and a blackface comedian for entertainment, but his pitch for Tay-Jo was almost as good.

He would bellow, “A feller told me the other day I should take this show to Arkansas, because there’s more suckers over there. But folks, I ain’t looking for suckers. I’m looking for honest, hard-working people who want to feel better, because I can help them.”

Tay-Jo would make you feel better fast. When authorities finally cracked down on medicine, shows, a state analysis showed it was about 99 percent alcohol. The price was $2 a bottle, three bottles for $5. They stood in line to buy it.

Summer also brought tent revival services, and one of them was on a vacant lot across the street from our house. The preachers were imported and were every bit as good as little Doc Roberts. They sold fire and brimstone, and at times some participants looked like they were wrestling Saint Peter for the keys to the Pearly Gates.

We had religion, but we also had scandal, or at least one I can recall. One of our solid citizens had a high school athlete staying in his home, and every morning he would leave early for work. But one morning he left and then came back and found the athlete in the wrong bed. Wow.!

We had a town baseball team, and I was one of the kids behind the backstop chasing foul balls. About half of us chased them to return them to play, and the other half to steal them. I will say I returned balls only after I’d hidden one in a row of cotton.

You knew it was summer in Britton when you saw Russell Brown pushing his lawnmower down the street and carrying garden tools on his shoulder. Russell, an unforgettable character, mowed lawns, spaded garden plots, cut weeds and did whatever else needed doing. At the end of the day, his shirt and overalls would look like he’d been swimming, and he’d stop in the store for his treat – a nickel double dip.

Summer brought. Missus Hadley going door to door selling eggs and vegetables and talking about her granddaughter, Halad, named from the Lord’s Prayer, as she explained: “Halad be thy name.”

I had a paper route, delivering the Oklahoma City Daily Oklahoman and Times seven mornings and six evenings per week. I learned a lot from customers who would tell me they couldn’t pay the 18 cents they owed me for the week’s papers.

My dad worked a lot of 16-hour days in the drugstore and never had taken a vacation, so one of my most vivid memories is this summer he and Mr. Barnes took a trip to New Mexico to camp and fish. I remember he took my mother’s favorite sparkling clean skillet, and brought back a blackened piece of junk. He got the silent treatment.

Summer in Britton meant extra ice cream, extra ice every day for the ice box, sleeping outside in the yard to beat the heat, looking for golf balls and watching out for snakes, learning to “roll your own” smokes, and growing up. A lot of growing up.

Memories of little pharma

Topeka Daily Capital
Dec. 2, 1959

It has been announced that the country’s biggest drug store will be built here soon, and every time it’s mentioned, I can’t help thinking back to Snider’s Drug Store in Britton, Okla.

It was a store that would be totally out of place in today’s scheme of drug stores. That is, it was just a drug store. No appliances, no jewelry, no automobile parts, no clothing – nothing except drug store items. We had a soda fountain, tobacco counter, prescriptions (filled promptly and accurately) and the usual assortment of patent medicines and other drug items.

My dad put in coffee once, by popular demand, But the owner of the cafe across the street stormed over and said they’re damn well better be no more of that, so there wasn’t. Back in Britton, you just didn’t try to sell anything that wasn’t strictly in your line. Continue reading

Seems Christmas journey from the west (Texas) was unwise

Topeka Metro-News
December 20, 2002

It’s only about 275 miles from Borger, Texas, to Oklahoma City, and the logical way to make the trip is to drive. It’s true today, just as it was in 1948, when I was a hot-shot sportswriter-police reporter-obituary writer for the Borger News-Herald, thinking about going home to Oklahoma for Christmas.

Driving was a scary option. For one thing, my car was a pre-war Pontiac, one of the last to roll off the assembly line before the factory was converted to tank or truck production, or whatever. You could say it wasn’t ready for the open road, since it had a radiator leak, an oil leak, a cranky transmission and slick tires. Continue reading

Uncle Bill, Mr. Braniff and the aviation bug

Topeka Capital Journal
July 10, 1987

Judge Roy Bulkley showed up at the Loafers lunch the other day wearing a new pair of suspenders. He said he’d gone to the Alco store in North Topeka to buy them, and they were such a bargain he bought two pairs.

The pair he had on were wide, and gaudy. But they were doing an admirable job of doing what they were designed to do, which is hold up his pants. He had such confidence in them, he wasn’t wearing a belt.

Still, some smart aleck at the table looked at them and asked, “if you bought two pairs, why are you wearing those?” He was implying, of course, that the other pair had to be better looking.

All this brought on a general discussion of suspenders, and some of the elderly in attendance recalled they once were called galluses. The dictionary says the word comes from gallows, and I suppose the idea there is that pants hang from the end of your suspenders.

Only a couple of us real experts, however, Remember that they also were known as braces. I qualify as an expert because my uncle, Bill Garthoeffner spent much of his life selling them. Continue reading

Fast food isn’t the part that changed

Topeka Capital Journal.
July 9, 1986

There is a popular notion that the great wide world of grease and salt, known as fast foods is something relatively new, But that is not so. Fast foods have been around a long, long time.

There are more of them now, and they are served in a variety of more attractive places, particularly if you like glitz, But most of them offer basically the same old fare. Fast foods have been around as long as I can remember. Continue reading

The big truth: we just needed 20k votes

Topeka Capital Journal
Aug. 4, 1986

Election Day is at hand again, and what better time to recall, painfully, my only venture into the world of politics: the 1964 campaign by Bud Wilkinson to become a US senator from Oklahoma. It was the first time for both of us and, thank God, the last. Continue reading

How about, “Proving journalism is the last refuge of the vaguely talented?”

(Editor’s note: During the 1990s, Snider was identified at the end of his twice-weekly column in a blurb that called him simply “a local retired newsman.”)

Topeka Capital Journal
April 30, 1990

It has been ordained that I be identified at the end of these columns, that there be some line there explaining who I am, in case somebody might be wondering. It is a good idea. You have every right to know who is responsible for what goes on here. Continue reading

You call THIS a snow storm?

Topeka Daily Capital
Feb. 24, 1960

I guess this is as good a time as any to tell my blizzard stories. I’ll warn you in advance. My conclusion will be that, shucks, this little dab of snow we’re having now is nothing. Let me tell you about Wyoming and Texas… Continue reading

Holiday visit to Britton, over all too soon

Topeka Capital Journal
November 29, 1996

SOUTHLAKE, Tex. – We are spending the holiday with daughter Amy and her husband, Duff Nelson, and three granddaughters who were glad to see their grandma. They spoke to me too, to say 1) I parked in the wrong place, 2) I can’t smoke cigars in the house, and 3) would I pump up their bicycle tires? Continue reading

Doc Snider gets the post office back…in great detail

Oct. 13, 1992
Topeka Capital Journal

In my prime growing up years in Britton, Okla., one of the state’s U.S. senators was a lawyer named Thomas Pryor Gore, known as T. P. Gore, or as “TeePee” when he would use the outline of an Indian tent on his campaign literature.

This symbol and his dark complexion, which seemed even darker because of his white hair, caused most people to assume Gore was part Indian. But he wasn’t. He came from Mississippi, and he was a near-perfect picture of a politician – tall, handsome and solidly built. And, when he spoke, people listened.

He was recognized as one of the great orators of his time. Even as a teenager he was in demand as a speaker, and it was because his fame spread far beyond Mississippi that he wound up in Oklahoma and in the U.S. Senate.

There was one other thing about T.P. Gore. He was blind. Not blind in the political sense, not partially sighted in medical terms, but absolutely, totally blind. The tragic thing about it was that he wasn’t born blind, but lost his sight through two freak accidents before he was 20 years old. Continue reading