Salinger to Snider: Take my hike, please!

Topeka Capital-Journal
August 26, 1994

Almost every day, it seems, there is another story in the news about the benefits of exercise, particularly for senior citizens. Studies keep offering strong evidence that physical activity is the best investment for those who want to stay healthy longer.

Americans listen to what is being said about the value of exercise. There are so many people into it now the time surely will come when there will be more miles of walking, jogging, hiking, and skating paths then there are miles of interstate highways.

Traffic on the paths is heavy now and can only get worse. There is an exercise explosion, taking place, and you can see men and women of all ages, with the latest student equipment and attire, trying to shape up and maybe prolong the inevitable.

You also can see old crocks, who remind you more of hobo looking for handouts than exercise buffs. They are proof the benefits of activity are available to all, and that you don’t have to cater to fat or fashion to fight fat and seek the fountain of youth.

Where did all this start? I think it started with a long walk more than 30 years ago. Robert F. Kennedy, appointed by his brother, President John F. Kennedy, who said at the time that Bobby could use the experience.

One Saturday or Sunday, I don’t recall which, Bobby went to the Chesapeake & Ohio Canal toll path, where horses once pulled barges on the waterway, and walked up into Maryland for 50 miles. He did it without fanfare, without inviting the media to tag along. He just went out and did it.

What prompted it was publicity about Marines routinely making 50-mile marches, if walking that far can ever be routine.

President Kennedy liked to needle his press secretary, Pierre Salinger, who loved the good life and had the shape to prove it, and one day Kennedy, in front of the media, said Pierre, to prove his metal, should walk 50 miles.

Salinger responded with one of the most unforgettable lines ever to come out of Washington. He said, “I may be plucky, but I’m not stupid.“ He knew that if he tried to go 50 miles, he stood a good chance of coming back in a box.

But the president kept the needle in, and after Bobby’s walk became front page news, the pressure was really on Salinger. The media covering the White House wouldn’t let it die, so he needed help. Believe it or not, he turned to yours truly.

At the time, I was administrator of the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports, and in the wake of Bobby’s walk, we had issued a warning to everybody who was saying, “if Bobby can do it, I can do it.“ We said don’t try it unless you’ve been cleared by your doctor.

Salinger seized on that. He called me and said, “you’ve got to get me off the hook.“ So, I issued a statement, saying Salinger was too much a national treasure to risk losing over a simple hike, probably could do without working up a sweat, and that he was exactly who we had in mind in the medical warning.

The media knew it was hokum, and accuse Salinger of hiding behind a bureaucrat, but it died out. Salinger later wrote a book about his White House years, and my wife asked him to autograph a copy she was giving me as a gift. He wrote, “you saved me from a fate, worse than death.“

It was President Eisenhower, who created the Council on Physical Fitness. But it was the Kennedy administration that energized it. The people who came to Washington with the Kennedy’s didn’t just talk fitness; they did it.

One of them was Dean Markham, who had played football in Harvard University with Bobby. He asked me to play golf, so before work one morning I met him at a course. I teed off first, and then he teed up, hit his ball, grabbed his golf bag and took off in a dead run down the fairway. I stood there dumbfounded.

Finally, he stopped, turned and yelled to me, “come on, we’re not going to get any exercise just walking around this golf course.“ What he said is as true today as it was then, but that still is the only time I have run 18 holes. Obviously, I never played with Markham again.

To be sure, there were joggers and walkers, and what have you before the Kennedys came along, but I always will believe they triggered the sudden popularity of exercise for everybody.

And about Bobby’s walk: after he did it, I was worried that as administrator of the fitness program, I would be asked if I had tried it. I was afraid that any minute the phone would ring and I would be embarrassed.

So, one Sunday morning, in the company of two Pentagon Marines, and a friend who said he wanted to try it just for the hell of it, I set out. If I told you what happened, you wouldn’t believe me. The point is, nobody ever asked me if I tried it. Nobody.

This career is no path to power

Topeka Capital-Journal
Dec. 18, 1995.

So, you want me to run for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by Nancy Kassebaum. Well, with that in mind, let’s review my employment history once again.

First, forget the early training at Doc Snider’s drug store in Britton, Okla., my morning and evening paper route that covered one-third of Britton, my stint at the vegetable rack at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store, and my time as the pilot of a passenger elevator in the First National Bank building in Oklahoma City.

My first significant job was with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Its agents came through town hiring Okies, probably because we were willing to go to Washington to work for. $1,440 per year. That’s $120.00 per month or $27.69 per week. Plus all the ice water you could drink. Continue reading

This family had Jack on the rocks

Topeka Daily Capital
Nov. 2, 1960

This is a strange election. Many men who state their choice of either candidate feel compelled to immediately explain that the choice isn’t based on religion. Pollsters and political prophets say in the first paragraph which candidate will win, then use the next 20 paragraphs explaining why the other man could win.

I read a lot about the election, and I gather that it hinges on the “undecided,” vote. You can read that from 6 percent clear up to something like 30 percent of the voters still are undecided. That’s strange to me, too, because I haven’t met a man in weeks who says he is undecided.

My wife is so firmly decided on her vote that she might classify as undecided. She started in the Nixon camp, switched to Kennedy after the first debate, moved back to Nixon and then back to Kennedy in later debates, and now is pretty solidly behind Nixon.

Of course, I haven’t been home in four hours, so that this could have changed. I’m glad, for her sake, that she didn’t see the television programs Sunday afternoon when a lot of the candidates of minor parties were on . . .

In various places, at various hours and with varying degrees of interest and boredom, I’ve heard lively political arguments and seen sizable bets made. Most of these arguments follow the same format. Continue reading

The big truth: we just needed 20k votes

Topeka Capital Journal
Aug. 4, 1986

Election Day is at hand again, and what better time to recall, painfully, my only venture into the world of politics: the 1964 campaign by Bud Wilkinson to become a US senator from Oklahoma. It was the first time for both of us and, thank God, the last. Continue reading

Moses, fan mail, and the long con of the NRA

Topeka Capital Journal
June 7, 2000

On the subject of gun control, here is a sampling of the responses your humble servant receives from unruly readers:

“Your statement in today’s paper about government at any level in this country taking away our guns shows what a misguided imbecile you are. You morons of the media went to court to protect urinating on a statue of Jesus as free speech.”

And, “I am not an NRA member. However, I do feel the organization has value in much the same way that our esteemed Reverend Phelps has value to the case against homosexuality…. You and others of your ilk would have laws against urinating in the woods, while allowing a homosexual to adopt a child…. thanks for reminding me to skip your column.”

And, “There was no peace treaty signed in Korea. Technically, the war isn’t over…. Sorry, but you’re as off base here as you are on gun control. Thought grows less painful with practice. Try it.”

And, “You are a moron. Read the Second Amendment, which guarantees our right to own guns.”

Is this any way to treat a man of peace? Continue reading

No Contest: Phelps gets his way with Topeka authorities

Topeka Capital Journal
December 20, 1995

You might say the Rev. Fred Phelps is exactly where he wants to be. He is on the front page and the editorial page with some regularity, and also at times on other pages, this one included. He and his followers are free to picket anything and anybody, whenever and wherever they choose. He has the city divided. This newspaper and some concerned citizens have laid the “Phelps problem” on Mayor Butch Felker’s doorstep, but he has responded defiantly, saying it’s not his fault the picketing outrage goes on unchecked. Continue reading

Lunch with Sen. Kassebaum (Gambling Pays Off)

Topeka Capital-Journal
Oct. 16, 1989

Let it be said that the lady kept her word. Senator Nancy Kassebaum, true to her promise, bought my lunch last Thursday in Washington to make up for the five bucks she cost me when I bet a lawyer, of all people, that she wouldn’t run for office again next year. Continue reading

Bud Wilkinson: To a Very Rare Man

Topeka Capital-Journal
February 14, 1994

Last Wednesday night Jay Wilkinson called to say his dad, Bud, who made history as football coach at Oklahoma, was dying and probably wouldn’t make it through the night. He didn’t. Next morning we heard on the radio he had died.

Later in the morning I tried to call Charlie Hoag to tell him about Bud, but I couldn’t reach him. It wasn’t until the five o’clock TV news that we heard there had been a wreck on the Turnpike and that Charlie’s wife, Salli, was killed and he was seriously injured. The day had provided a double dose of bad news.

Wilkinson and Hoag had closer ties than you might think. In the early 1950s, Bud was one of the best coaches in the country and Charlie was a superb running back at KU , as well as being a key member of a national championship basketball squad. Continue reading

A Friend Recalls Alf Landon

Topeka Capital-Journal
October 16, 1987

In 1935, Gerry Barker was a junior at Ottawa University and Alf Landon was governor. On a night when Baker University played at Ottawa for the league basketball championship, Landon was in the stands. Ottawa won in the final seconds, and Barker was the star.

Later, Barker was just coming out of the shower when E. C. “Ernie” Quigley, who had refereed the game, came into the Ottawa dressing room and asked, “Where is that young man Barker?” Gerry stepped forward and Quigley said, “Hurry and get dressed. The governor wants to meet you.”

When they met, Landon congratulated him on the victory and on his efforts. Barker says today it was a high point of his career, and then some. It was the start of a long and enduring relationship.

In 1947, Barker went to work for radio station WREN, which had just been moved over from Lawrence. In 1952, Landon bought the station, and when he met the staff he looked at Gerry and asked, “Are you the Barker who played at Ottawa?”

Continue reading

JFK Tops for Intentional White House Humor

Topeka Capital Journal
Aug. 12, 1991

In this country we like to say that anybody can grow up to be president, but that’s like saying anybody can win the lottery. The odds are against anyone who has the White House in mind. That goes even for a vice president, particularly if his name is Dan Quayle.

All most of us can do about the presidency is hope we vote for the winner, and then hope he does a decent job. We also can hope he has a sense of humor, because when you consider the shape the country is in, it is clear the head man needs to be able to laugh and make others laugh with him.

jfkIf you were to rate presidents by their sense of humor, you would have to admit that, despite all his weaknesses, John Kennedy was the best ever. Throughout his career, his wit stands out like no president before or since.

Asked how he became a war hero, he said, “It was easy. They sank my boat.” During his presidential campaign he said his wealthy father would finance a victory, “but he flatly refuses to pay for a landslide.” Continue reading