Topeka Metro News
May 3, 2002

I suppose I should begin by commenting on events leading up to my untimely death on the city’s unofficial newspaper, So here is my report: I was being measured for a muzzle and a leash, so I quit. Period. End of report.

Actually, what happened merely interrupted what already has been a long journey. Old columnists are like old ballplayers, always thinking they have a good year or two left in them, and always wanting to prove it. They can’t wait to go to the mound one more time to show ‘em the curveball still works.

That’s the way it is with me. I’m not out to match the record of Zula Bennington Green, who, as Peggy of the Flint Hills, wrote columns well into her 90s. But I still feel the urge, so when the Topeka Metro News expressed an interest in running a combination of my old and new columns, I said, “give me the ball,” or fighting words to that effect. We’ll see what happens.

I feel I don’t go into this new game without credentials. After all, I was voted Topeka’s favorite columnist for 39 straight years, a record matched only by Porubsky’s chili, and by Baby Dolls, as Topeka’s “best place to spend a rainy afternoon.” Or a sunny one.

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